This is my town...

This picture was taken shortly after my coronation as the king of Poulsbo. I rule all of my subjects with a just and gracious hand, remembering the humble weed-whacking roots from which I have risen.

Ok, so it was really taken after I was declared "King Watermelon Seed Spitter" this 4th of July, or speed sitter as I kept inadvertantly saying aftewards. Seriously, try saying it a few times fast. Apparently I can spit seeds, but not words.

With my golden sceptre, I command the melon fields. The end of world hunger will shortly ensue. The charm of the melon that hangs about my neck is a talisman of protection. It shields me from the dark minions of squash that quietly haunt the darkness of Scandia, only waiting for the right moment to glop onto a plate, or sludge into a casserole. And with an effective range of over 45 feet, I puff a black lethal projectile that would make Trogdor shake in his consummate V's! The love and affection which the people hold for me is evident in the flowers and bounty bestowed upon me.

Hmm, I guess being a blow hard is good for something at least:)